Open eyes.

When we are kids, things seem very simple and easy going. As we grow to be teenager, we see more things about the environment. When we grow adult, we see many things like society, relationship, the world and ourself. Life isn't easy and i know it but why life cannot be simple? My current condition is I seem to be look at myself.

Maybe i start to be selfish. I tend to compare myself with others although i know that they got talent and i dont have. How hardwork i do will not surpass them. Maybe myself not put enough effort on it. Relationship for me is simple. Love one another. I also feel jealous that people got girlfriend while they still study and not earn any money. Maybe they got secretly earn it, I dont know. I seem to run away from problem. I face many problem and I din face it with all my heart. Where my heart go? Where my motivation go? Where my stronghold? Where my principles? Many things i din put into heart as the result I dont know how to reach when problems come.

Isit my family get bullied easily? Yet i cant protect my family member from getting bullied by others. I still dont know many things and i seem din concern about it. Who am I actually? Why I dont have a good character attitude? How im going to do wise things, do the things right and do right things? Like a simple decision whether go or not go, i still cant decide and see the important about it. I really turn to be very bad, very selfish that i din care about others anymore other than myself. Things that i feel very weird i will reject it.

I really wan to run away from it like forget all my memory and start over again. Many times i saw people fall out from what they are fighting but i guess this time would be me giving up and drop off. How can I search back the meaning of my life as a child, student, friend or somebody?

Amazing Grace, the best song ever describe how God grace fall on us. God is great and mighty, as a christian, I feel like im not worthy to be his children. Im not talented in any way. I do many wrong things. I didn't keep in heart the verse in the book of life which is the bible. I waste many people effort on me. Can I stand up again? I dont know. As a committee, i should not write something discourage to others but im not a person that will share my personal things to others. Maybe i still have doubt in trusting people. Some i may share before but is just a little matter. I hope that nobody will care what i wrote because it surely not sound nice and not encouraging.