Study never be easy

This semester all the subject seem to be very tough to me as well as FYP. Most of the subject seem to be application more than just definition, adv and disadv, and comparion other than BIIS. My english writing already not good and need to write professional business plan, im not good at it (although i havent try or start it so i never know what is the result). Another subject also need to write professional english which is Computer Law and Ethics. While doing the assignment, i discover that it need a lot of thinking and explanation in order to apply the law from any section in law book. No wonder my friend who study law last time told me that exam is open law books but it also very difficult. Now i understand what he means until lecturer give guideline for the second tutorial question.

There is some technical problem i cant solve it for my FYP application. This is the reason that i really scare because i cant do it in the way that i want. Im not sure i able to finish the FYP on time or not. There is so many event coming on, assignment, exam and saturday and sunday activities. Do i have the ability to complete my job as given to me? How can i makesure i can complete everything? My ability is limited and how do i improve myself within this short period of time. I really hope that I be able to graduate this year and achieve the target i already set. Although for my first motive will never be fulfill but i really wish to break the barrier that my family unable to break.

Tomorrow will be better

One question that people would like to have and ideal thinking, "Tomorrow will be better". Sometimes people may experience that tomorrow, the day after tomorrow is still the same as usual. I believe that phrase really work well on people. Today we might face many difficulties such as pressure at school, work place, house or many other area.

I want to have a better tomorrow. Few week pass, i already experience many things and is time for me to generate antibiotic to overcome it. I dont have to think what pass already pass. Those success or failure in the pass would not be anything special anymore. Last time maybe im a failure and slowly growth up and make things success. What is happened from the pass already pass and it doesnt show that tomorrow what it will be or will success or fail.

Can i stand up and make a counter defends over all the problems that heading to me? I will try it. Either pass or fail, i just leave everything to the people who judge my work.

Task list that things i want to do:
-I want to be active in thinking or action.
-I want to be change in my heart and mind.
-I want to strengthen my body health and endurance.
-I want to study and give my best to finish my studies.

Why?

Yesterday i was doing my assignment and just finish half way and went to sleep. Before go to sleep, i check my computer whether got virus or not. I found my pendrive contains virus and i delete it. I saw similar name virus file appear in my pc then i straight away without doubt delete it.

Today when i try to continue do my assignment, my pc keep restarting. My first impression is Oh No, i didn't backup my work and i find a way to recover it. First i able to recover it but those application i had install before unable to function. Why yesterday mistake cause me today suffer. Is this the lesson i need to learn that i cant make mistake or else i will suffer in future. Many times, what i decide i will regret it although i never give up and at the end i able to walk through it.

This trial really hard for me. It comes from different direction. How im going to handle all? Even myself also discourage myself. Now im formatting my computer and hopefully after i install and use vista, those application i be able to use back. Where my courage go? Where my inner voice go? Where am i going?

Scream!!!!!

No mood to blog. Just to write something because long time didn't update anything.

I feel very depress dono why and somehow i do other things more than the things that i should be complete.

I dont have any confidence in doing things. As you read what i write, my english become poor. I dono what im writing and i dono how to describle my tought, opinion even myself.

I feel inspire when i watch facing the giant and fireproof but after that also turn up to be depress. Whats wrong with me? Why this feeling happened? Am I plan to fail? What i can to in order to gain back my confidence even just a little. Where my motivation in doing things? Why i feel so tired to do things.

Am I giving up myself? Im almost finish my study and come to work. I should be happy because i work hard for 3 years just to reach the goal and finish this race. Why im struggle? what are the things cause me to struggle? Im not a good leader and i unable to lead people because im no confidence and cant even motivate people anymore.

I feel like want to scream!!!!