So downcast oh my soul

Today feel so downcast. This afternoon, i dream something that is im so happy together play with my beloved. I know i shouldn't dream something like that but it is good and happy moment. Maybe i dream a lot maybe one day fall into it. Last time my tuition teacher got mention that "We can dream marvelous things but don't let the dream master you". The moment i realize it, i feel so downcast because it wouldnt happen now and maybe wont happen forever. I understand that she will be in relationship someday and when i think about it, it really make me more downcast that im may or maybe not that person. If i had a chance, i wont let it go no matter what may happen. Unfortunately, i still have no chance or ability to do it.

Im a person who is sam fan jong yit dou(cantonese) means likely to change decision frequently. I wish that if i have a chance, i wont change my decision to love her and have a right heart to love her. I dont like to test a relationship. Relationship is a forever things. If a person unsure about who will be his life partner and try to find few people and start relationship to test which one is better, i would say to that person that u better not to do anything if you dont have a heart to only and the only one person. The action try relationship is like bao yi lai. Although that person invite them to go out to find out more about them, it show that that person really dont have the heart love to anyone. If my analysis is right, only if a girl really tell him that she got interest on him then only he will accept and start relationship.

I dont know whether there is love at first sight or not but i do believe in that. Haiz, it also useless because i just blog here and dont voice it out loud. Well, after all different people got different thinking. All i can do is hope that nothing harm will happen to my friend.