Another year of Christmas. I celebrate Christmas in Petra already 3 years. It is a celebration of our LORD Jesus Christ come to earth and born as human being to save us. Well every year, i wish to forget something or give up something and i did it again. I cant totally forget or give up. I really don't know how to behave like a wise man. I cant say my eyes temptation or what, everytime i saw her, i have new feeling or feel relieve. And now i understand that i'm a person who like to observe things but this is something weird to me, i keep on observe her and i feel relieve when i saw her and i know she is there. I really hope that everyday i can see her. Maybe this is what a part of song mention "I cant keep my eyes off you" i guess the lyrics correct or the other way round. I still like her always just like 3 years ago until now.
I know that i cant keep on like someone that i know she didn't like me. Maybe im really "fan jin" (cantonese). Love is blind, maybe i really blinded. LORD i really want you to teach me how to behave like a wise man. Now i just only observe her appearance then i feel satisfy already. I wish that one day, i will feel bored about it and will definately forget about her. If i still cant do it, i really dont know what i can do. Maybe I will try the hard way is confess to her and being totally reject to crush my heart into dust so it wont recover. I know that everytime she reject me, she also feel hurt but i hope that this final move i wont take or really didn't cause her feel hurt.
Now what i can do it just observe and think i cant have the hope of being together with her although how my heart feel deeply except she really told me before hand. I guess no girl will take action first. I wish her will have a wonderful and memorable christmas. I also wish all newcomer will discover the way, the truth and the life in Petra. I pray that all the committee and leader will not give up in learning the good way to serve one another, support one another to explore our talent in whatever things we do. In real time, i cant say to her once again. I just want to say that I really like her.
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