Words from inside

There is something i wish to know. I feel confuse lately. Something that i dont wish anymore seem like there is a hope of it. I want to know whether that hope is real or not. In the past, i wish to know more but since i cant therefore i give up. After i give up, it seem like another way round that i discover little by little. I still feel confuse about it. I do really wish to give up but why there seem hope about it. Why this things continue to happen? Why not just gone forever when it happened once. I really wish to find the answer but i dont dare to ask. I dont wish that something bad will happened and it keep happening again and again. I dont want to keep finding the way out from a deep maze. I wish i can know the way out. Whether the outcome that i will see something good or bad. Neither one happen i cant control it but at least i know and i hope the result will last forever so i wouldn't keep feeling confuse over it. It is easy for me to be trap in a maze than to get away from the maze. I really want to know the answer rather than let it be.