Very Tired!!!

Yesterday was my sister wedding dinner at night. During morning time, i consider free because nothing to take care but afternoon need to fetch my mum, my mother sis (I call her Ah Yee) and her daughter (my cousin lo) to take flower and meet my mum small bro (Kau Fu with wife and son) meet at restorant 2020 to take lunch because my Kau Fu just arrived KL from Johor. After that i went home with my mum and Ah Yee follow my Kau Fu car went home.

About 6.00pm we started drive to the restaurant at Pudu call Hei Loi Tang. Before we leave, rain started and feel inconvenient to move to the car because i still need to carry 3 carton. Ahhh why it rain on that time.

At the restaurant, i with my cousin lead those guest to their respective table. I always forget the table numbers and keep asking my cousin. I feel very useless because cant memorize the table no position. After that before the bride and groom come in, i take the chance to take picture with all the guest but some i miss out because they are not together that time and some dont want to take pciture. After wedding dinner, it is about 11.15pm, we drive home. Before i sleep, i finish my movie quantum of solace 007 that i havent finish and after finish is about 12.35am then i go and sleep.

This morning i skip church morning worship, sermon and dicipleship class because i went to my Ah Yee house and carry all the red wine back. Then we go lunch and after lunch went back to the restaurant to take back something left behind and forget to take yesterday. After done everything, we came home and i sleep a whole afternoon until 5. Now i still feel very tired and i havent do my project stuff. Really want to rest but i hope i can finish everything as soon as possible before i sleep. I never thought that i can be this tired.

Reflection

Yesterday i got join cell group but i reach there late because i got something to do. They already started and i just miss one point they talks about Proverbs chapter 2 verse 1 but the second part is about vere 2-4. The second part i feel like God is telling me something important. When i look back my life. Since i enter University. First year first semester, i got some confidence in few subjects becuase i already learned during Form 6. The next semester, something happen and cause me no more confidence in doing anything. From that moment, i begin to study something without learn it. All the while i just study for the purpose to archieve high grade but it doesn't picture myself as a knowledgable person. Sometimes im wondering, a poor in education person like me will deserve to get those grade without learning anything. Proverbs chapter 2 verse 2-4 make me know that if we want to seek something, we have to be like finding hidden treasure. What i mean is, if you want to find hidden treasure, first of all need the hidden treasure map. Study it, analyze it in detail so we will find the best way that lead me to find the treasure. At the same time, we also might think of those trap set to prevent people obtains those treasure. All the while, i just read and memorize notes without really study in deep and question about what,why,when,how on the things i learn. I really waste a lot of time without learning anything. If i realize all this earlier, i wish to change before it really happen. What is pass already pass. I hope that I wouldn't repeat the wrong step that i take. Another things that i wish to change is my heart. I feel heartache when i do something or saw something that i dont wish to do or see. And my emotion change all the time. Why i become so dynamic? Im train to be stable person. I think i didn't learned enough to do in my life. Many things i wish to do such as complete my degree, start my career, get my life partner and give a good life to my parent before they leave this world. I know that im not good at all, i wish I can find new motivation to move my heart to break through all my difficulty. Many know that Im a happy person but im also a cry baby when i alone because i face many difficulty alone and think about my future alone without sharing with others. I know that God is always with us but I fail to keep close with God. My heart always gone astray and my emotion always change. I hope that my emotion, heart and soul will move same direction and push me towards the Goal that God already set for me. Im sorry that im not good at all.

Reach the limit!

Yesterday i just realize that my eye cannot stand looking at bright screen. While i was waiting my sister at Steven Corner to meet up her secondary friends. I when to a cyber cafe nearby and watch people playing games. Then i saw one guy play xtreme super dancer online (XDO) and he play very well. While waiting my sis, so i also play about 30 minutes for that game. I realize that i cant see those note coming and my eye keep blinking. I think my eye reach limit already since everyday i just keep looking at the laptop screen nonstop. It make me difficult to play although i play those song i like and consider easy but i fail to hit the note without miss or bad. I think i cant play this game anymore (onee of my favorite dancing game with song). If i continue like this, i fear that one day i will get blind. I think tomorrow i will start to work at school for my project. I will get to face my laptop screen more and more. Im not sure how long I can stand and i hope that it would hurt so much. Maybe i should rest more everyday after i come back from school without open my laptop but i think, i still open it either watch movie or do other stuff. I know that my eye condition very bad and cant fully heal. All i can do know is try to reduce the damage of my eye. Moreover, it also affect my health. Keep playing with my laptop everyday without exercise. I turn to be more lazy and tired. Hope all this will change so i can have a balance life. That's all what i want to express. I will try to express myself more to improve myself. If possible, learn to be better in using english words without any grammar error. It is late now and tomorrow i need to back to school to be scold by lecturer becuase fail to do the task that had been given. Hiaz......