Saturday, October 16, 2010

Completely fail...

Long time ago, i was a failure. In my childhood time, i fail so many times such as learn tek kwon do, learn crayon art, learn to calculate mathematics using the chinese calculator (suan pan), tuition and many more.

When i reach form 4, i do realize what is most important and able to encourage me to move forward and I did success. What i do and it will success such as persevere and commitment to attend tuition class without fail. Never give up and learn from mistake was my moto to encourage me to move on.

All the while i keep success and getting higher and higher success but all this doesn't mean anything to me now. Now i'm back to a failure situation. I fail to do what i want and wish to do, i fail to persevere, i fail to control myself and i fail to love.

All the while, i tought of learn to be advisor to encourage people but now i fail to do so. My heart, mind and soul doesn't seems to be united as i did last time during form 4. Now seems like fighting against one another. My heart feel so pain when I desire to love. I dont understand why people can't give up when they really love a person and now i did. I just feel the same way as they did. I do love but i dont know why i cant just give up and find another right person since i already rejected so many times. Why do other people so easily to get into relationship? How they do it and how they really found the right person? I dont have the answer.

Im turning back to my failure moment and i just feel like dont want to do anything and just stop the clock and be empty. I hardly move forward these day. Why i get involve in these at the beginning? Im not worthy at all. I completely fail.....

Henri = Zero

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