Final Battle!!!! Ready!!!! GO!!!!!

Three years study in UTAR and now reach the end of the course. Study for so long just to wait this moment to come. This saturday is my first paper and my last paper is on May 4.

Early this year, i always post something negative tought about my study and i already pass that critical moment. Now just left this last exam but i still feel like not enough motivation or encouragement to move on. This feeling is similar to my form 5 situation where last moment i feel like half way no motivation. This time totally no motivation to move on and feel scare and dont know what is the result.

I guess who read this will scold me because i havent begin or havent try, how do i know my result? Well i really hope that i can pass this last exam and hopefully can fulfill my selfish desire to get first class honor degree title. Based on my performance, i dont deserve to archieved it but i will try to get it. Currently i dont have any future dream other than this dream to get 1st class honor degree title. I set this dream during my second semester in UTAR. I guess this is my last dream that i ever dream off.

Will i be able to fight till the end? I wish I can win my old self compare now.

Nevertheless, I hope that everyone same batch with me will archieve good result and found a better job afterwards. Hope to see everyone graduate at the same time.

Managing your wealth

Today sermon talks about managing your wealth (i forget the title but it is similar). As we all know wealth is about money but as christian perspective, wealth not only meant for money, it also meant for talent, ability or the things that belong to us. There is one point really hit me that mistake will cause you fail to manage your wealth. I make an unnecessary contract. Due to this mistake, my parent need to spent RM100++ for the fees for three years and another things is i didn't attend the things that i make contract with. I really fail to manage my wealth and because of my mistake, my parent going to suffer. It is my debt and later i will pay it when i come out to work.

After the sermon, there is a chairing and today is my turn to share something. I didnt prepare well for my message and i just simple stand on the stage and share don't know what and i feel that i really dont have the talent to speak. This is my mistake and i know Deacon didn't blame me on that but i feel really useless because i study so much but unable to share something to benefit others or encourage others.

Beginning of this year, i already feel like unable to perform well in the things that i do. What should i do? Why i turn to be like this? If this continue on, i scare i unable to perform well in my final exam. Im very scare about it. I should renew my strength so that i still have a chance to overcome the problem that i face. I hope that there is an encouragement or motivation to push myself to reach another limit.