Final Battle!!!! Ready!!!! GO!!!!!

Three years study in UTAR and now reach the end of the course. Study for so long just to wait this moment to come. This saturday is my first paper and my last paper is on May 4.

Early this year, i always post something negative tought about my study and i already pass that critical moment. Now just left this last exam but i still feel like not enough motivation or encouragement to move on. This feeling is similar to my form 5 situation where last moment i feel like half way no motivation. This time totally no motivation to move on and feel scare and dont know what is the result.

I guess who read this will scold me because i havent begin or havent try, how do i know my result? Well i really hope that i can pass this last exam and hopefully can fulfill my selfish desire to get first class honor degree title. Based on my performance, i dont deserve to archieved it but i will try to get it. Currently i dont have any future dream other than this dream to get 1st class honor degree title. I set this dream during my second semester in UTAR. I guess this is my last dream that i ever dream off.

Will i be able to fight till the end? I wish I can win my old self compare now.

Nevertheless, I hope that everyone same batch with me will archieve good result and found a better job afterwards. Hope to see everyone graduate at the same time.

Managing your wealth

Today sermon talks about managing your wealth (i forget the title but it is similar). As we all know wealth is about money but as christian perspective, wealth not only meant for money, it also meant for talent, ability or the things that belong to us. There is one point really hit me that mistake will cause you fail to manage your wealth. I make an unnecessary contract. Due to this mistake, my parent need to spent RM100++ for the fees for three years and another things is i didn't attend the things that i make contract with. I really fail to manage my wealth and because of my mistake, my parent going to suffer. It is my debt and later i will pay it when i come out to work.

After the sermon, there is a chairing and today is my turn to share something. I didnt prepare well for my message and i just simple stand on the stage and share don't know what and i feel that i really dont have the talent to speak. This is my mistake and i know Deacon didn't blame me on that but i feel really useless because i study so much but unable to share something to benefit others or encourage others.

Beginning of this year, i already feel like unable to perform well in the things that i do. What should i do? Why i turn to be like this? If this continue on, i scare i unable to perform well in my final exam. Im very scare about it. I should renew my strength so that i still have a chance to overcome the problem that i face. I hope that there is an encouragement or motivation to push myself to reach another limit.

Kena Tagged by WK

100 Truths about Me

001. Real name → Ong Wai Sing aka Henri

002. Nickname(s) → Henri, Wai Sing, Sing Yeah.

003. Status → SA (you know la)

004. Zodiac sign → Capricorn

005. Male or female → Male

006. Elementary →SKTaman Segar, SKTaman Muda, SKPandan Indah

007. Middle School → SMK Pandan Indah

008. High School → KTAR
009. Eye color - brown

010. Hair color → black

011. Long or short → short

012. Loud or Quiet → quiet

013. Sweats or Jeans → jeans

014. Phone or Camera → phone

015. Health freak → no

016. Exercise - few

017. Do you have a crush on someone? → yes

018. Eat or Drink → eat

019. Piercings → no

020. Tattoos → no

021. Water or Fire → water (can I put wind?)

022. Love of your life or 4 Billion Dollars → love my life

023. First fear → Worms

024. First best friends → Delon Wong

025. First award → no

026. First crush → forget name joh

027. First love – havent got

028. First pet - Hamser

029. First big vacation – HK, Bangkok

030. First big birthday → 21st birthday at 2006

THIS OR THAT:

[31.] Orange or Apple Juice? - orange

[32.] Rock or Rap? - rock

[33.] Country or Screamo? - country

[34.] N'Sync or Backstreet Boys? - BSB

[35.] Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera? - Britney

[36.] Night or Day?? - day

[37.] Sun or Moon? - moon

[38.] TV or Internet? - internet

[39.] PlayStation or xbox? – PS3

[40.] Kiss or Hug? - hug

[41.] Iguana or Turtle? – ninja turtle

[42.] Spider or Bee? – spiderman
[43.] Fall or Spring? – fall ( why no winter)

[44.] Limewire or iTunes? – limewire (can I prefer others?)

[45.] Basketball or Boxing? - basketball

[46.] Soccer or Baseball? - baseball

[47.] Ballet or Choir? - Choir

[48.] Cheerleader or Athlete? - athlete

CURRENTLY:

049. Eating → Claypot Chicken rice

050. Drinking → shandy

051. Drugs - no

052. I'm about to → do FYP

053. Listening to → songs lo

054. Plans for today → Complete small part of my FYP
055. Waiting for → 10.30 go sleep

056. Busy – ……….
057. Bored - ………..

YOUR FUTURE:

058. Want kids? - sure

059. Want to get married? – YES!!!!!.

060. Careers in mind – AI developer
061. Hire employees - depend

062. Want to be a boss - Maybe

063. Saving money - yes

064. Insurance – got already
065. Send kids to public or private school – private (if I kaya)

066. How many children do you want? – 2 (depend on my future wife)

067. Boy or girl? - 1 boy 1 girl

WHICH IS BETTER WITH GIRL/BOY?

068. Lips or eyes - eyes

069. Fat or thin – thin (why no normal?)

070. Shorter or taller? - taller

071. Dark or fair? - fair

072. Romantic or spontaneous - romantic

073. Nice stomach or nice arms - nice arms

074. Sensitive or loud - sensitive

075. Hook-up or relationship - relationship

076. Sex or make love - make love

077. Trouble maker or hesitant - hesitant

078. Behave or misbehave - behave

079. Touchy or funny - funny

HAVE YOU EVER:

080. Lost glasses/contacts - no

081. Ran away from home - no

082. Hold a gun/knife for self defense - no

083. Killed somebody - no

084. Been Heartbroken - yes

085. Been arrested - no

086. Been raped - no

087. Cried when someone died – almost cry (mother side grandpa)
088. Loose control when angry - sometimes.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

089. Yourself → no

090. Miracles → yes

091. Love at first sight – yes

092. Heaven → yes

093. Santa Claus → no

094. Sex on the first date → no

095. Kiss on the first date → no

096. Hold hands on the first date - yes

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

097. Is there one person you want to be with right now → yes

098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life → no

099. Do you believe in God → yes

100. Post as 100 truths and tag 25 people→ no

Just a little update

Lately seem to be very busy doing FYP, function still not yet done. Just do little little stuff. I never felt like busy till i cant stop and ignore friend chatting. Maybe this time, i really busy.

Semester almost end and i dont have anything to submit especially my project. Im very scare that i cant finish it and submit. My endurance level drop a lot, i cant keep doing it for the long time.

This week i already skip church for 3 days. Haih.

Yesterday, my sis gave birth to a baby boy. Havent give any name but today i fetch my mother to petaling street this morning to get name. That's one of the reason i skip church. I reach there about 9.30 and wait till 11.45 then only done. According to my mother, 9.45 got 3 person waiting and still got a lot of people asking for name and prepare for wedding. Haih, waste many time waiting without doing things.

Lately, my health condition seem very poor. I cant keep myself alert and i almost cause boiled water over boil. Haih.

Too many haih and i dont know what i can do next. Hope I still can push myself to finish this race. Whether i can achieve the result i want or not, i wish i can accept the fact and keep going on. I dont wish to give up anything and i dont want to feel regret anymore. Even i fail, i must not be discourage by it.

Tagged by Hannah

i've tagged:
Hannah
Ritchie
Amy
Carol
Kayson

ps.i think i have done this tag b4 but since i have nthg to do now....i might as well do it again :)
what have you been doing recently?mid term exam.....

do you ever turn your cell phone off?yes, when i cant send sms
what had happened at 10.00am today?fixing computer

when did you last cry?Today about 6 something (almost crying and no tear 1)
believe in fate/destiny?believe in the past

what do you want in your life right now?GRADUATE Yeah!!!!
do you carry an umbrella when it rains,or just put up your hood?umbrella lo.

what's your favourie thing to have on your bed?mattress
what bottom are you wearing now?shorts

what's the nicest text in your inbox say?no such text for a long time
do you tend to make a relationship complicated?simple is better

are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone?nope
what was the last movie you caught?high school musical 3

what are you proud of?proud of have a chance to study
what does the oldest message in your inbox says?not remember....

what was the last song you sang out loud?LOW
do you have any nicknames?Sing Yeah

what does you last receive text message say?want to confirm you whether skip whole day or not
what time did you go to bed last night?1 something

are you currently happy?satisfy
who gives you best advice?people around me

do you eat whipped cream straight from the can?eerrrr dono
who did you talk on phone last night?mother

is anyone bugging you right now?nope
what/who was the last thing/person to make you laugh?Wai Loon

do you wear toe socks?no
who was the last person you missed a call from?Mother

have you ever had your heartbroken?yes
what annoys you most in a person?ask question

do you have a crush on anyone?Absolutely yes
have you ever done cocaine?drink coca cola consider or not?

what's the colour of your room?orange
would you kill someone you hate for a billion dollars?NO!!! i dont tend to kill anyone

do you believe in the saying of: talk is cheap?no wo, lawyer talk is expensive
who was the last person to lie in your bed?nobody except me

who was the last person to hug younobody hug me. (T_T)
did anyone see the last person you kissed?no, but a saw people kiss on the escalater

do you have a life?yes, im living now
have you ever think someone died, when they really didnt die?no

what's the reason behind your profile song?no song woh.
who was the last person you saw in your dream?myself lo.

last time you smiled?afternoon
have you changed this year?yes, easy anger, emotion + ing and bla bla bla.

what are you listening right now?squall
are you talking to someone when you're doing this?mother

do you walk with your eyes opened or closed?open la
is there a quote you lived by?life goes on

do you want someone you cannot have?yes
have you ever played an instrument?yeap.frute

what was the worst idea you've had in this week?give up
what are you doing last night at 11pm?watch high school musical 3

are you happy with your love life right now?ok lo
what song best describe your love life?amazing grace

does the person know that you like him/her?yes
who always make you laugh?nobody

do you speak other language other than english?lol cantonese and mandarin can mah?
favourite website(s)?
www.mininova.com
www.sogua.com
www.sogou.com
www.dygod.com
www.youtube.com

what's your middle name?Wai???
what are you doing tomorrow?attending classes

what do you think you are like?myself lo
who will you choose to die with?everyone i know

where have you been today?church
what game do you play often?minesweeper

who are you missing right now?i miss my teenager self
if you have to choose between friend and love,who will you choose?Can i choose God?

what are you doing right nowchatting about coming mid term
which primary school are you from?SK Taman Segar, SK Taman Muda, SK Pandan Indah

name 4 colours that you like?blue,white, pink, purple
what emotion you like to show?hehe

what's your life to you?to live
if you have something troubling you, what will you do?keep to myself

who did you last chat in msn today?Sehela
who do you admire most?Mr Lian

which month are you born in?Dec
how are you feeling right now?tired

what's the time now?9.20pm
what kind of person do you think the one who tagged you is?kind

what colour did you use to dye hair?green
why are you doing this test?sienz

what do you do when you're moody?sleep
at which age you wish to get married?depend

who's more important to you? enemies or friends?enemies and friends
if today is the last day of your life, what will you do?i will bring my parents go eat the best, call
out all the friends that i know and play with them, meet all my relatives houses and go to church and meditate

who's the person you trust the most?my parent
do you believe in seeing a rainbow after a rain?yes

if you have a dream come true, what would it be?give the best life for my parent to enjoy while they still around

what's your goal for this year?GRADUATE yeah!!!
do you believe in eternity love?yes....i do....

what feeling do you love most?fall in love with someone
do you really think it's global warming now?yes

what feeling do you hate the most?angry
do you cherish every single friendship of yours?yup

do you believe in god?YES!!!
who cares for you most?parents and relatives

what do you think is the most important thing in your life?love one another
what will you bring when you fight?bring my leg, because i can run away. wahaha

what have you done regretted doing in your whole life?never study serious when im a kid
what would you feel if no one no longer cares for you?observes surrounding

what if your bf/gf two-times you?dono
how do you feel now?want to start do my stuff

Study never be easy

This semester all the subject seem to be very tough to me as well as FYP. Most of the subject seem to be application more than just definition, adv and disadv, and comparion other than BIIS. My english writing already not good and need to write professional business plan, im not good at it (although i havent try or start it so i never know what is the result). Another subject also need to write professional english which is Computer Law and Ethics. While doing the assignment, i discover that it need a lot of thinking and explanation in order to apply the law from any section in law book. No wonder my friend who study law last time told me that exam is open law books but it also very difficult. Now i understand what he means until lecturer give guideline for the second tutorial question.

There is some technical problem i cant solve it for my FYP application. This is the reason that i really scare because i cant do it in the way that i want. Im not sure i able to finish the FYP on time or not. There is so many event coming on, assignment, exam and saturday and sunday activities. Do i have the ability to complete my job as given to me? How can i makesure i can complete everything? My ability is limited and how do i improve myself within this short period of time. I really hope that I be able to graduate this year and achieve the target i already set. Although for my first motive will never be fulfill but i really wish to break the barrier that my family unable to break.

Tomorrow will be better

One question that people would like to have and ideal thinking, "Tomorrow will be better". Sometimes people may experience that tomorrow, the day after tomorrow is still the same as usual. I believe that phrase really work well on people. Today we might face many difficulties such as pressure at school, work place, house or many other area.

I want to have a better tomorrow. Few week pass, i already experience many things and is time for me to generate antibiotic to overcome it. I dont have to think what pass already pass. Those success or failure in the pass would not be anything special anymore. Last time maybe im a failure and slowly growth up and make things success. What is happened from the pass already pass and it doesnt show that tomorrow what it will be or will success or fail.

Can i stand up and make a counter defends over all the problems that heading to me? I will try it. Either pass or fail, i just leave everything to the people who judge my work.

Task list that things i want to do:
-I want to be active in thinking or action.
-I want to be change in my heart and mind.
-I want to strengthen my body health and endurance.
-I want to study and give my best to finish my studies.